Day-to-Day Doings I read that somewhere. I wrote it down, and then I read it.
Sunday, August 24
Fucking media.
Sorry, I'm a bit peeved, so I'm swearing. It happens.
I had on a plastic surgery show (why don't I know better by now??), and there was a woman who'd lost 180lbs due to WLS and, of course, she's now gone to a "wonderful" 135lbs of sagging, hangy, deflated skin. WHAT an improvement, huh? Anyway, she was having well over 100,000 worth of surgery to "repair" her body (which is now equipped with scars that run up each side of her vagina, and one that completely encircles her waist so she looks a magician box mishap) and complete the transformation from "fat to fabulous." That's the quote, fat to fabulous.
Why is it that a given that those terms are mutually exclusive? Smaller is better, bigger is bad. I know I'm not covering any new ground here, but man it just pisses me off to no end that there is not even a remote sliver of possibility given to the fact that you "could" be large and fabulous, or happy... GOD FORBID!!! I am so sick of these industries and ideas being shoved down our throats. I am older, I know better, I live my life and make my own rules and decisions, but there are so many who buy it all hook, line and sinker. They are just there, soaking in the negative words, believing and living with the fact that they are substandard people due to their size alone.
Fuck that, fuck them, fuck all of you who sell that line of bullshit to women and men, and young impressionable kids. How about one single message laced into these strings of bullshit that self-esteem is the most valuable asset you can have, and that it will carry you much further in life than your size 4 jeans. That beauty is a quality that comes from confidence mixed with natural good looks, the kind that have been written about for thousands of years... of health, of glow, of living life fully.
Blah. I know I'm ranting, and it's all old news... but I am so annoyed with being made to feel a visual blight on what would otherwise be a "shiny, happy" world - if only they could solve the problem of "me." Fuck them. I'm not going anywhere, I don't need their stamp of approval, so they'd all best just figure out how to deal with this vibrant, colorful, oversized square peg in their idea of the perfect round hole world.
Just a wee homage to Ian Dury there, although not quite on target lyrically.
Socks? Sock monkey!!!! This will become more clear when you see my CA pics. I found a particularly lovely, HUGE sock monkey... and I love it a lot. At the time, I couldn't really comprehend trying to get it home, so I just took a picture with it and moved on. BUT, I've been thinking... and now I think I want 'im! I found him online on sale, and I think I might order him. He's 4 ft tall!! *sigh* I'm still thinking it over.
Drugs? Not for me, for Darla-kitty. Things have not been going well, frankly... and all the well-meaning advice in the world isn't going to change it. She is not only shy, she's scared... she runs if you walk near her, and she's never near you to begin with. She basically howls from 9pm until 10am. I've had to begin sleeping with earplugs (which hurt) and I just don't know what to do. A talk with my vet has lead to some antianxiety medicine for her (I think I may need some as well, this is stressing me out). I attempted to give her some tonight (see, it's really hard to give a cat medicine when the cat won't come near you or let you go near her). I crushed up a tablet in a little bit of wet food and left it in her "room" (the spare room in my house). I haven't checked if it's been eaten yet, but I'm hoping. We'll see how it goes.
Rock and roll? I got nothing, just needed a catchy title. :)
On the home front, my mother called me tonight (I'm about to begin a dogsitting stint at their casa). She says "I was just in the backyard cleaning up, and your father was in the front yard mowing the lawn, and I heard him scream." Okay, if you knew my dad, you'd know it's not unusual for him to scream, dad's a yeller. But she meant he screamed like "Aaaaahhhh!!!"" and I thought, hmm, that's odd. I figured he cut off something in the mower. But no. Even better... he mowed over a hornets nest and proceeded to get attacked. So of course I asked if he was ok... I mean damn, the man is 54 years old, for all I know he's allergic by now... that could have killed him. She said he was fine, no signs of reaction so far, but he was bit well over 20 times. Yikes!!! Poor dad. I bet he was swearing up a storm the whole time, too. She said the majority of them got his knee. Hope it doesn't swell up too bad.
Now, the scary part of this... is my mom. She went out to help him, naturally. Here's the rub - my mom IS allergic. She has and Epi-Pen and everything. She was stung about 3 years ago, and her tongue swelled, etc. So she runs out to help HIM, and is swatting angry hornets away and he's yelling at her to get the hell away because if she gets stung, she dies. Makes sense, but mom is chasing a hornet that's working his way into dad's shoe. There is a sick part of me that wishes this was captured on video tape. LOL, I can't help but laugh (knowing everyone is ok!).
So, the angel on the shoulder part of the story? My mom was GOING to mow that part of the lawn. My mother has a problem with her voice, and it's very hoarse and she's got essentially no volume due to the issues going on. Now, had it been my mother... well, I'd rather not think of the tragic outcome. He never would have heard her yell for help, and being allergic, she wouldn't have been much of a match against a nest. She said she just had a feeling before she was about to do it..... "Nah, I'll just wash the car." Divine intervention? I have no idea, but I'll take it... whatever the delivery method.
Nooo, my undies aren't coming off. I'm just going to run down my trip.
First of all, I want to say I had a GREAT time. I love California, and it's only reinforced every time I visit. This run down is going to be a bit scattered since I have so much to say, but I'll try to make it coherent.
I flew in on the 6th, got into LA around noon. The flight was just fine, no problem... and it wasn't full, so I guess I didn't need to purchase the two seats, but I'd rather have the peace of mind by knowing I've got room.
I saw Randi as soon as I got to the hotel, we were checking in around the same time. I called Deidra and Stephen from my room and was greated by Stephen asking me if I wanted to speak to Bobby Trendy. Now, if you don't know who Bobby Trendy is... don't worry, you really have no reason to. He is the interior designer who worked on Anna Nicole Smith's house on her show last season, and ended up getting kicked to the curb. So, I thought Stephen was full of shit, but nooooo, I found myself on the phone with Bobby a mere moment later and he was "luxurious"ing all over the place. I then spoke to Deidra and discovered she was making fast friends with him, and rolling about on his pink satin bed in the store. Yeah, that's LA for ya.
That night Stephen, Cindy and I headed off to the Jimmy Kimmel show... very cool. We had to stand for 2.5 hours... which, when you're a big girl, is a LONG damn time. I was so beat from traveling too, poor Cindy and Stephen, I was pretty miserable to be around until we were finally seated. The guests were sort of of "eh". There was supposed to be a mystery guest, supposedly, but they never showed up.
The pre-show was really fun though. The opening guy, Don Barris, comes out to get everyone hyped up, and he called a girl up on stage who basically laid out her show biz aspirations for the audience, did everything short of passing out contact cards,.... eesh. What a city. Anyway, after that, he started going through the audience, getting high fives, getting people hyped up. And when he got to me, to give me a high five... he stopped... put his hand out, stuck out his tongue like "mmm, nice" and pulled me up to dance with him!!!! YIKES!! I didn't get up, looked at him like "huh, what??" and he again gave me the "come here" finger and up I got. So I proceeded to grind with him, dance, and spank him (at his request). I'm sure it was QUITE a site for the rest of the audience. I had fun. I'm sure I was picked because what could be more fun than a huge girl dancing around, but still... it was fun. Stephen also got up to play a little "Name That Tune" game... so we had fun.
On Thursday, Deidra and I hit a diner in Marina Del Ray for some lunch, and ate everything in site I think. We actually didn't consume that much, but we ordered a lot... it all looked so good. And it was!! Edie's Diner in Marina Del Ray... yummy. I had a great chocolate shake, and the clam chowder was fantastic and creamy (that's saying a lot coming from a Boston girl!). We returned, I hit the pool for a while, then we had the fashion show to go to... Deidra hosted it. It was nice, quite a few vendors and some new people on the scene, good to see new people entering the market. No offense to those around, but I am so f-ing sick of slinky material everything... bleck. Just not my style. I got a GREAT pair of pajama pants from Look At Me Now (lookatmenow.us I believe), which is being run by Phyliss aka Starbelly. She's only making supersizes... the pj's I got are a medium. LOL HUGE clothes, cute material, nice stuff.
On Friday night we hit Claim Jumpers at the suggestion of my friend, Marco. I had heard of this place on the weight board before, so I wanted to check it out, and Deidra had seen the dessert on some Travel Channel show... so she was in, and off we went. It was yummy! I had some potato cheesecake things, a HUGE dessert mudpie with heathbar ice cream that tasted like butterscotch, it was fantastic. Amazingly enough, I can't remember what the hell I had for dinner... prime rib?? Yeah, that was it... it wasn't great. Just wasn't prepared how I like it, but everyone else enjoyed their dinners.
After dinner, we all headed back, stuffed to the brim and got ready to head to the Friday night dance for the convention. I have to say, it was pretty under attended... which is just sad. There are tons of men and women in southern CA who are in the scene, and there was just nobody there. Even many of the locals who attend other events, no one bothered to show up. I just think it sort of sucks when there is no support behind the main organization... but oh well. We stayed until the end, breezed through the hospitality suite, then headed off to bed. Saturday I hit the pool, and then Deidra and I headed back to the diner for dinner. It wasn't as magical the second time around, but still worth the trip. We went to the dance when we got back, and stayed there most of the night.
On Sunday I headed to the farewell breakfast, which has a very revivalist feeling to it, which I forgot about... the folk singing is too much for me. *shudder* After leaving that, I headed off with my local tour guide and headed for San Diego... ahhhh, I love it!! First of all, I have to thank Marco... and I can't do so enough here, but really... he's a prince. I will express it more another time to him, but I had to put it out there... he made my trip wonderful in so many ways, and having someone be a gentleman in so many ways, just a huge treat for me. :)
Soooo, off we went to San Diego in the big yellow van. FAs, hint, if you're with a big'un... get a little step stool for a high car. :) I was able to get in and out with a little help (hee hee), but after a big meal, it was almost completely impossible to get in... that was a close one. We stopped at San Juan Capistrano and did a very little bit of walking around (it was REALLY hot and I was being cranky). I got a nice Mexican cross for my mom, and off we went to finish the trip.
In San Diego, we went to another mission, which was beautiful... the architecture and grounds, so nice. I wanted to hop out and get some pictures, but there were a lot of people around, and just no place to really get any without it being a big spectacle. We went over to Old Towne after, and walked around, I bought some souveniers (sad to see my favorite shop was closed... :( ). My souveniers are on their way to me as I write this, I had to ship them back. We went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant that I had been to before with Heather and John. It was really nice to just sit outside, and enjoy the night air and good company. The food wasn't as good as it was the first time, and the service was AWFUL... man alive. But, vacation and all... it was still nice. :)
As a special treat, on the way back to the van, we had a perfect view of some fireworks at Sea World... it was a really nice way to finish off my trip to Old Towne. After that we headed over towards the beaches, Pacific specifically. I usually head over to Ocean Beach, and although I missed getting over there... it was really nice to see another area of the city, and Pacific Beach is beautiful. We found a nice little place to sit on a bench by the sand, listen to the water. I was California dreaming for sure... I love it so much, it almost makes me sad in a way to be there enjoying it and know I'd be leaving. Makes for great memories though. The smell of salt in the air,.... I'm a coastal girl for sure.
I was back in LA late that night, after a much appreciated stop at a REAL Krispy Kreme!! I even had a cold milk to wake up with on Monday... mmmm, sooo good. I don't know what I did to deserve this life, but I surely am thankful. :D
Monday night I was out around LA, hit the Santa Monica Pier area, the 3rd? Street Promenade (where that horrible accident was a few weeks ago where the old man killed those 9 people). The stores there were pretty much the same as anywhere, so we didn't stay there long. We attempted to eat at Gladstone's on the PCH, which looked really beautiful and I wish I could have... but the outdoor seating just wasn't going to work for a big girl. I couldn't eat there. :( I felt really bad... sometimes it's got to be a huge drag to deal with fat girls, and I know it. We ended up getting some dinner at Baja Fresh, which was REALLY good... I was surprised I must admit.
I left on Tuesday... oh well. I am bummed out to be home, and I'd like nothing more than to head back next week. Who knows, maybe if I watch airfares I can pull it off again before the end of the year. I'm going to try... I just love it.
Well, that's the report. I am going to have some pictures from my trip going up within a week or so... nothing really "fat" related... just some touristy type shots, etc. But nice memories, and hopefully something interesting to look at.
Well, Last Comic Standing just ended, and Ralphie May didn't win. I have to say I'm shocked. I think it's possible his humor and approach just speaks to me more than the "masses", but I honestly do find him very funny. And I'm glad that anyone his (my pretty much) size made it so far in a national search. It really says something about the tiny strides that are being made. I do wish he'd won, although I really don't think he'll be hurting for offers and such. He's very talented, and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before we'll get to see him again on the little screen. Good job, Ralphie!
Well, I'm packed up except for a couple of odds and ends and heading to LA tomorrow. My car is coming at 6am, so it's going to be an early day... and long day. I get into CA around noon, head to the hotel, probably lounge poolside for a few hours, then head over to the Jimmy Kimmel Show. I'm really looking forward to that. We have to be at the studio around 6ish, and the show airs live starting at 9:05... so if you watch it, look around the audience for me. I'll be there! No listing on guests last time I checked, but Macy Gray is the co-host all week (hate her voice... eek.)
I'm heading off to bed now, in an attempt to get a full night's rest before I head out. Bye all!
I know I use blogger and haloscan for this, and the services are free, so I really don't have much room to complain, but here I go anyway.
Fucking Haloscan, man. Okay, in the last post, Gil left a new reply, which had a line I've now become especially fond of " They can discuss philosphy, talk about your feelings and then fuck the hell out of you like an animal if you desire." I think I may use it going forward when interviewing potential mates. :) Anyway (that wasn't the point of this post), I attempted to respond to him in the comments section, and I used a >> so it thought I was making some HTML thing, cut off the rest of my message, so I reposted it completely, and it was there twice. So THEN I realize, ok, I'll head to Haloscan and just edit my first one... remove it... too much clutter. So I did that, and NOW most of the conversation from the last comments section moved to the comments in the Queer Eye entry below it. AND most of the comments from the Queer Eye post have moved up to the Incredible Missing Fat Girl entry.
aaaaahhhhhhggggggghhhhhh. I'm hoping this just resolves itself and this post will just be left as a solitary reminder of a world gone mad, momentarily. Otherwise, it will serve as an instruction book for how the hell to read the comments people leave here. Gil's comment was quite a valid one all around, so I wanted to make sure it at least gets read.
